So have you ever been to a dinner party where any of the following has happened?

1. The party starts at 3 p.m. and ends at 11 p.m.
2. The hostess is drunkety-drunk-drunk before the main course is served.
3. A food fight involving one yellow peep.
4. A wanted tutorial on how to pray the “roshary” (drunk-speak for rosary).
5. A man tells his mother-in-law to get to the f**ing point! when trying to explain the rules of an Easter Egg Hunt.
6.  Five eggs are hidden in one place because the hider is too drunk to space them out.
7. The hostess sits in an office chair with rollers instead of a dining room chair. And at various times during dinner, pushes herself away from the table, rolls out towards the foyer while squealing, “Wheeeeeeee!!!”
8. Get hit in the side of head by a champagne cork.
9. Get a sunburn.
10. Try to hide in the food pantry and have an impromptu dance party.

Oh you haven’t? Oh well, I haven’t either. I was just wondering…