I am waiting…I am waiting for the third bird.

Bad things are supposed to happen in threes and that is why I am waiting for the third bird. But in order to understand the third bird, I will tell you about the first bird and the second bird.

First Bird – Around mid-September of last year, after Lou the cat decided to plop his “little head, big tail” self into my world, I noticed a pigeon. My apartment is on a second floor above a garage (I know, it is very Growing Pains-like). And my kitchen window looks across the driveway to a tiled roof. So at the corner of this red tile roof sat a pigeon. A big fat pigeon, that would sit there in the morning and in the afternoon. And he would sit there and make a big mess (and I don’t think I need to elaborate on the kind of mess that a pigeon is A+ on making). Lou would sit in the kitchen window and stare at the pigeon on the tiled roof. And the pigeon would stare back. A couple of times the pigeon would attempt to fly toward the window but was unsuccessful. Little did I know that the pigeon was practicing for his fait accompli.

A lovely Sunday afternoon and I am in the midst of cleaning my living room with my front door wide open. Meg and Lou are sunning themselves on my doorstep. The quiet is broken by the furious flapping of wings accompanied by an incessant whoop-whoop sound. Soaring over Meg’s and Lou’s heads, the pigeon makes his landing in my living room. I would like to say that I was as cool as a cucumber with nerves of steel so I will write it but it was the direct opposite. The pigeon proceeds to waddle around my living room as Lou and Meg continue to lounge on my doorstep. I decide to do my best impression of a  lion tamer at the circus, pick up one of my dining room chairs and guide the pigeon out of my apartment. And with a mighty “Whoop! Whoop!” the pigeon flies over Meg’s and Lou’s head, out my front door.

Second Bird – A leisurely Saturday morning, my front door, once again open. I have to run errands but I decide that maybe I should work on cleaning my bathroom first. My bathroom door is partially shut. I pushed the door open. I have a big open shower. Lou is sitting next to the shower drain, surrounded by blood and feathers, consuming the remains of a small bird. Once again, I am going to write that I kept my cool when the reality is the direct opposite. I did spend the following two hours cleaning that bathroom.

So I am waiting because I am sure there will be a third bird. Or maybe a whole flock.

By the way, the pigeon just called. He wants to know what’s for dinner. I told him chicken. He hung up.

Sincerely,

Lynne with an E